I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
