Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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