Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
