At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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