Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance

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(404): View more from Georgia

can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.

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(917): View more from New York City

I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.

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(210): View more from Texas

hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.

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(574): View more from Indiana

almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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(604): View more from British Columbia

every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel awful

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Physically or morally

(513): View more from Ohio

Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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(425): View more from Washington

I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.

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