there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
