The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
