You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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