I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize