Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
