They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
