imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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