sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
