Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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