That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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