no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
