Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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