I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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