please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
