it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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