i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
why is half of my head shaved?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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