so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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