It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just had sex bonerless
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
