you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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