That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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