Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
