ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love having hate sex.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
