I'm going to jail i love you
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
