woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
