he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
