There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
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He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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