I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
