i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
