I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
