This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
