literally had 100 drinks last night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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