Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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