singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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