I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
