I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
