spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
birth control should be required to get into college
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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