whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
