So drunk its hurt
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You're like the curious george of whores
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
