how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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