id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
