Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
