Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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