So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
