I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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