I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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