Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
