Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
