My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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