every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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