just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
