like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation