she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
