my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
