why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
