Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
