i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
