If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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