but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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